The Great Pumpkin Patch Adventure
by Ermengarde de Neustrie
Summary: Merlin found that the longer he looked at pumpkins, the more he started to hate them. However, Morgana wants the perfect pumpkin and she refuses to leave the pumpkin patch without getting what she wants.


_AN: This story is an AU that is set in the modern period. It had been an entry for Merlin writers on livejournal, but I forgot what exactly the challenge was for. It must have been for a Fall/Halloween themed challenge because my prompt table does have a lot of Autumn themed prompts. I am going to be writing some more stories for the prompt table, but it's been a few years and I am not exactly writing in the Merlin fandom anymore._

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"What about this one?" Merlin pointed at a particularly large pumpkin that was right in the middle of the pumpkin patch. "It is the grandest pumpkin around. I am sure you can use it for your pies and pastries, and even a jack-o-lantern if you wanted to."

Morgana gazed at the pumpkin critically before shaking her head. "No, that pumpkin needs to ripen more, and you know that I can't have it sit around for a few weeks when I am having my get together this coming weekend."

Merlin nodded his head, trying all he could to keep his impatience in check. "Right. This one does seem to need a little ripening." He pointed to one of the pumpkins that was not to far from the one that he had just pointed to. "What about that one? It looks ripe. It is a beautiful bright orange."

"No, it's got mold. Do you see the damp spot right near the bottom? That is no good."

Merlin sighed in frustration, but then he saw the most beautiful pumpkin in the world. One that Morgana was sure to pick. He walked over to it and pointed down at it with a large grin on his face. "What about this one? Don't you think…"

"Merlin, that pumpkin is wrinkled. It looks like it is rotting."

"Every pumpkin looks like it has wrinkles," Merlin grumbled dejectedly as he gazed around him. "Well, wait… what about this one?"

Morgana walked over to look it over. "Well, I think it looks alright. However, it's too small. I was thinking of a larger pumpkin…"

"I showed you a larger pumpkin!" Merlin said indignantly.

He continued to follow Morgana through the pumpkin patch, looking at the pumpkins as they went along. It seemed to him that Morgana always had a critical thing to say about the pumpkins that he thought were good enough. They were either wrinkled, rotten, soft in spots, had cuts, or in one case when Morgana put her finger to the bottom of one that looked particularly promising, was not entirely fresh.

Merlin began to wish that pumpkins did not exist after about an hour later. He began to wish for some sort of blight that would get rid of every member of the squash family on earth. He stared down at one pumpkin that was near the end of one of the last rows and shook his head at it.

"You know," he said to the pumpkin as he watched Morgana crouch down beside a particularly larger specimen nearby. "She won't choose you because you are too orange or something. Who knows, maybe she'll say you are too large or that your stem is too green. I wonder if it is a sign of insanity if one talked to pumpkins? You know something? I actually pity you…"

"That is the perfect pumpkin, Merlin!" Morgana called out in excitement as she walked over to him. "It is the perfect size and everything. It is ripe and doesn't look like it is soft or has anything wrong with it." She picked it up over the ground and tapped it with her fingers, nodding as she heard the dull thud that meant the pumpkin was alright on the inside. Then she turned it over to look on the bottom and pressed her finger against it. She looked up at Merlin with a radiant smile on her face. "I definitely want this one. Oh, and that other one that I was just looking at."

She went back to the larger pumpkin that she had just been looking at before she had gone to Merlin, took out a pocket knife and removed the pumpkin from it's vine. Merlin cut away the vine from the fruit that Morgana had praised with a bewildered expression on his face.

"You know, I have great ideas for these pumpkins. I am thinking of pies and pastries and soups and pumpkin stuffed with bread and spices and meats." Morgana turned to him near the gate with a look of excitement on her face. "When I was in France for a few years, I tried pumpkins stuffed with all these cheeses and bread and garlic. As a matter of fact, we should go back and get the smaller pumpkin…"

"Morgana, I don't think we can carry more than these!" Merlin said in exasperation. "I don't know about you, but the pumpkins you've chosen aren't exactly small, you know?"

"Oh, well then we'll go to the grower and put these ones on the table and I'll go get that smaller one."

"I think these two will be good…"

"Oh no, do you really think I'd be able to fit those monsters in the oven?" Morgana asked with a huff. "I'll be just a minute! I know exactly where the little pumpkin is."

Without another word to Merlin, she turned on her heel and dashed away as quickly as a cat after a bird. For a moment, he stood stunned, his arms wrapped around one pumpkin and one that rested uncomfortably on his foot.

He gazed forlornly down at the pumpkin in his arms and shook his head. "I pity you, my friend, I can't begin to imagine how I'd feel if my top was cut off for the sake of pies and pastries."


End file.
